Crackerella
by WE.should.call.it.mankind
Summary: WArning this is without a doubt the worst story ever! EVERYONES A RETARD!G rated stories with R-rated Violence!
1. Chapter 1

Attention, new story Crackerella( very crack...ish) coming soon!  
I know you cant make a whole chapter to an authoress' note but who give a flying fuck?

this chapter is devoted to the full summary! M'kay it'spretty much its gonna start out as cinderella on dope, but then as the story continues its gonna be all the fairytales involving all the naruto characters!

YAY!

cast!  
CinderellaHinata Her dadHiashi EVIL stepmumTsnuade sister1 Ino sister2Sakura princeuhhhhhhhh redhead hinata's friendItachi!  
fairy god motherOC

That all for now, in the next instalment there are gonna be more, and i will most likely hold votes by reviews, for characters, plot twists, pairings, and the next fairytale involved in this massive crack overload!!

M'kay the story will be starting soon, so get me some damm popcorn bee-yoch!  
and some iced tea!

Alright im done now wait for the story!!

Oh and vote now for any plot twists, or fairy tales you want in there right now, also if i forgot a role, tell me in a lovely review! 


	2. Prouloge

**Crackerella prolouge**

There once lived a family of two, Hinata Hyuuga, and her father Hiashi. They were happy by themselves, but Hinata always wanted a mother to talk about girl stuff, It didnt help when Hiashi attempted to show Hinata the whole woman thing, yes the poor Hyuuga was scared for life.

**!!Flashbackflachbackflashbackflashback!!**

"okay so you see Hinata, when an egg leaves the sac it makes it journey to"

To say young Hinata was schocked would be an understatment. Poor poor Hinata.

**!!ENDENDENENDENDENDENDENDEND!!**

So to make a young Hinata happy **(and himself)** Hiashi **(a baker?)** Made an eHarmony profile, with all His information. His age, hobbies **(he has hobbies?!)** his house, family, etc.

2 months later A lady by the name of Tsnuade**(tell me if i got that right)** Was browsing through eHarmony, looking for the perfect soul mate...yeah. You see Tsnuade was a gold digger, with 3 daughters **(Shizunes in college) **And a sucky job. He idoitic daughter were well, very dim-sided! They used to have a pig but he got away when Sakura forgot to close the dor...again. Anyway back to the story

"hmmm, Hiashi is it? Seems pretty dul- OH look at that! Hes got a nice house**!(uhhhh bakers are very succeful**"  
"MA! PIG'S USING UP ALL THE HOT WATER"  
"SHUT UP YOUR BRAINLESS BITCHES!!"(**ooooooohh DISS)**

**3 months later**

Once the family moved in, and were completly settled, and by settled i mean Sakura took Hinata's room, and Ino took the room next door, forcing poor Hinata into the attic, which was accualy nicer than the room she used to stay in...Also at the time, Hiashi was suffering from ther rare but deadly cronic left pinkie toe cancer!  
(le gaspereth the HORROR!!) And had 4 days to live

**Minutes before Hiashi's death**

Hinata sat weeping over her dying father's body, Why do the good die so young, well Hiashi was what? Like 38?  
"Hinata"  
"Yes father"  
"You knwo im dying right"  
"Yeah i think we established that"  
"Well i just wanted to let you know, the car, the house, the bakery, and the money is all yo"  
And with that, Hiashi gave a sharp gasp and passed away "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"  
"SHUT UP"  
"So-rr-r-y!"

**:..Hiashi's funeral..:**

All were sad, save for 3, Sakura, and Ino were flirting with poor Neji (RUN MAN RUN!!) While Tsnuade was still thinking of all the nice things she could buy with the money. Hinata, gripping an old photo of her dad and herself, was weeping mournfully...thinking of the last words escaping Hiashi's mouth ...the house, the bakery, the car, ts all Yo-  
what did he mean? Yolanda's? Yoko's?...Oh well, she knew she had a misserable day ahead of herself

**Soooooooooooooo whatcha think?! Please review, and i'll give you guys cookies, Oh and dont forget to vote!**

**Keeping it real since tuesday Livey!**

**OH YEAH and by the way elina GO FUCK YOURSELF!!**


	3. Timeskip yaaaaaaaaay!

**HI! everyone(my two readers) Sorry i havent updated in a while! My computer crashed and i have no sound(SOBSOB) Soooo im ready to finish the first part of my crackerella story!**

**THX a lot to:**

**Number one Itachi fan-girl, first reviewer, YOU ROCK!**

**XSasoriX, YOU ALSO ROCK!  
but on different terms!**

**thx guys thats all the reviews i needed to continue so without further ado(?) let the crrrack induced story continue!**

**Crackerella Chapter 3**

It had been a good two years now and poor Hinata had sucumbed to a cliche fairytale begining "Hinata! Come up here! COMB MY HAIR AND TELL ME IM PRETTY DAMMIT!!" (ino)  
"Hinata come apply this lotion to my back its peeling!"('shudders' Sakura)  
"Hinata wheres-hiccup-mah sakkkkke??"(you know who)

Poor Hinata had run to town so many times to fetch things for her step sisters like make-up**(not that it helped!)...(sorry for using sakura and Ino for the step-sister parrt, they were the only ones in the whole show that came off as extremly annoying, so sorry to all to all the sakura and/or Ino fans reading this!)** and jewlery, which is what she was sent out for this time around.

**VILLAGE/TOWN(they have a mall for crying out loud!!)**

_need need need is that all they know? hinata i NEED this Hinata i NEED that! blah! of all people eHarmony had to match my dad up with.  
dad...i miss him...hmmmm_

Now Hinata was sad, so sad she didnt even see the guy running her way.

"watch out"  
"huh- OFPH!"

If you didnt figure it out some totaly random ass dude just ran into our main character! Bad totaly random ass dude, not cool!...right back to the story. Hinata now on the ground slowly making her way back to reality pushed herself up and held out her hand for the fallen totaly random ass dude from earlier...right-e-o.

"are you ok?!"**(uhhh we shall nameeth him TRAD(totaly random ass dude)  
**"fine"  
"uhh ok if you see a crowd of girls, and maybe guys, heading this way cam you tell them i went that way" He asked while pointing in the oppoasite directionhe was running towards.

"m'kay"  
Hinata could only waatch as the redheaded stranger faded from veiw, to once again be brought back to reality by the stampeeding fangirls yelling 'whered he go?!' So Hinata**(despite her battle with her inner)** pointed te same way Trad had pointed watching the fangirls go that way avoiding(trampling) the poor unfortuntate souls in their way...werid.

**meanwhile with TRAD**

_werid psychopathic sluttish fangirls!_

**HINATA!**

_Ugh more dishes? I swear for being so damm skinny those girls eat more than horses_**(Poor hinata had sink duty, and laundry, and kitchen, and bathroom, and garden, and dog, and garbage, and hallyway, annnd stairway duty like every night)**

"HINATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" A sicky sweet sing-song...'voice' was heard throughout the manor**(yes a bakers manor)...**SAKURAS sickly sweet voice, that was. Sakura was wearing a lilac robe, with Hinata embroided with silver on it**(Yes Hinatas robe...),** Curlers and an avacado mask**(Hmph no mask can hie THAT face)**

"Hinata i need you to do my nails for the ball!" Ah es the ball, held by the mysterious prince hinata had never seen.  
"Hai Sakura-sama"  
Hinata sighed at the now scuffed up mhogany stairway she had just polished**(i said MANOR)  
**  
**LATER  
**  
"Hinata"  
"Hai Inohime"  
"Wheres my tiara"  
"in your hair Hime"  
"OH! ok...uhhh polish these stairs there a mess"

**EVEN LATER**

"HINATA WHERES MY SAKE"  
"Right here Tsunade-sama"  
"thanks"  
"uhhhh"  
"Yes hinata"  
"canigototheball"  
"Slow down child"  
"Sorry tsunade-sama, so can i go"  
"Go where?  
"the ball"  
"no"  
"N-Nani"  
"You've got nothing but rags! Not a dress in sight"  
"-sigh- Hai tsunade-sama"  
"oh and Hinata, these stairs could use a good polishing!"

**Even later than before-you get the point**

"Girls get ready the limos here dammit"  
"YEAH YEAH coyote ugly were coming"  
"yeahy what piggy said!"(how original)

Tsunade was wearing a light blue dress that went to her ankles, and pearls, lots of pearls, the dress was strapless, and she was wearing 8-inch heels(i know). Sakura was wearing an ugly pink prince-like dress**(like those creppy barbei dresses)** With bows and everything. Ino was wearing a sicly pale yellow slip dress and lace up red heels.

"Why is the limo green?" Tsunade slurred"  
"its not ma! Your just drunk"

They piled into the limo and sakura stuck her head out the top window, being the last thing Hinata saw before the limo disappeared, leaving Hinata sweeping the front porch**(really what did Hiashi bake?)** She sighed and went to her room.  
"Sniff-why"  
Hinata was odviously sad, and seeing a picture of her father didnt help much. She could'nt take it anymore finally she broke down crying, not noticing the girl climbing into her window.  
"NEER FEAR!!...oh wait no what was my line?...uhhhhh of right oh whats wrong Hinata?"

To say hinata was surprised was an understatment

"WHAT THE FUCK"  
Hinata yelled breaking out the shot gun.

"Hey woah woah! dont shoot"  
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU"  
"Luke i am your fat- no im your fairy god mother"  
"But your no older than me"  
"Details details, hey why is the light off?"

The girl turned on the light allowing hinata to get a good view of her.

**HI everyone! Thats the third chapter up there! Im writing more, but now i have to go work out and do dishes!  
Tell me if there are any plot twists, chacrters, or anything you want to add!...or if you want to feature your OC in my story just let me know!  
Sorry i forgot to do the disclaimerI DONT OWN NARUTO AND THATS A GOOD THING  
you knwo what i realized, Sasuke is really mary-sue, all the girls fall for him, he wins every battle, and so on!**

**m'KAY PC load letter? What the fuck does that mean? Livey**

**R&R for a...uhhh neat pen from the pentagon ...sob jimmy didnt get a job at google...man that fun to say!-21...the movie**


	4. HOLY SHIT ITS GODZIWWA no its not

**Alrighty i loved my reviews so much i decided to churn out another chapter! Unfourtunatly i will be camping this weekend With a bunch of psycho paintballers, oh fun!**

**I dont own Naruto, or else it would suck! m'kay**

**Shout-outs!!(im so happy for my reviewers! yay you guys!!)**

**Number one Itachi fan-girl Huzaah! thx for the first review, and i cant wait for the next chapter in your story ending!**

**XSasoriX OF couse Hinata has a shot-gun! Anyway thx so very much for the review! Its s'okay i can wait for your next story, hey im gonna try an interactive story to!**

**chocolvr69 HI! thx for putting my humble cracky story on your alerts list! Huzzah for you as well!**

**You guys rock!**

**On with deh story**

**Chapter fourz : enterz jun the fairy god mother!!**

**with trad, you forgot him aain didnt you?**

_I like wombats_

**Back to Hinata**

**...and that one other person(HEY!)**

**alright...**

The girl in front of Hinata was wearing a black prom-like dress with a really poofy skirt, High-top chucks, striped tights, lacey black finger-less gloves, taped on fairy wings, and hot pink curly hair.Yes you could say this girl was a regular whack-job!...Or on shrooms but it could be worse!...maybe

"umm hi?...Why are you here"  
"Tch im here to take you to the ball"  
"Uhhh i dont have a dress"  
"its okay were going streaking"  
"NANI"  
"jokes jokes, Im not a fairy god-mother for nothing-stand back!"

Hinata did as told, whilest jun**(the fairy...ah you get the point)** said sometihng incoherit, rasied a wand made of recylced glass. Suddenly Hinata was wearing a purple dress, her hair was down and wavy, she had uhhh glass heels i guess...and uhhhhhhhhhh a tiara? sure

"woah"  
"and now for our ride"  
"m'kay"  
"Shala lala lalala lalalala sha-zaam!"

Instananesly there was a buggy, but not just any buggy, this one was pimped by X-zibit!!

"what the"  
"what were you expecting"  
"Oh i dunno a pure white carrige, and a jockey, with pure white horses, you now cliche fairyrale stuff"  
"Boo-Hoo people in hell want ice-water"

"well were in the 21st freakin century!...And my hippy van is in the shop"  
"okay buggy, good"  
"thats the spirit!"

So they got on the interstate and only made one stop.

"Gas prices these days i swear"  
Hinata was slurping a blackberry smootie, while Jun chugged some mystery trucker drink.  
"OK! on ward to victory!"

**AT THE BALL**

"finaly"  
The guards were giving her werid looks but shrugged it off...they had seen werider...yeah.  
"ok Hinata your on your own, I have to park tis thing, remeber G section"  
"K!!"

**AT THE GRAND(yet still freakishly long) STAIRWAY!!**

Hinata was standing at the top of the stairs thinking sometihng along the lines of whyare the stairs so freakin long? Everyone looks like ants!...oh wait those are ants! Hinata sighed at her own stupidity and made her way down the narrow stairs.

"Do you know her"  
"Her hair is so pretty"  
"I know her"  
"additional generic rich person comment"  
"Tobi is a good boy"  
"Shut up, yeah!"

While all this conversation was taking place Hinata lost her footing and tripped down the insanly long stairs, really she was falling for a good 7 minutes now!...anytime now...ok really that staircase was looooong! Finally Hinata**(with the help of her chin...go chins!)** Stopped half-way**(WTF REALLY?!)** Only to attempt to get up again and fall, for another or so minutes, give or take**(Of course).**

"Argh!"

yay, after some time her knight in shinng, well accauly a tux. came to save her!

"are you okay Hinata"  
"Itachi!"

Itachi was one of Hinatas good friends, she had known him since she was like six or something.

"ano. Hi"  
"right! Did anyone see that"  
"Nah they lost interest around 4 minutes into it"  
"okay im good"

Poor Hinata had couafght everyones attention, even everyones favourite redhead TRAD!

**TRADS POV**

_Wow i've never seen anyone take so many stairs to the face! Go mystery girl!...uhhh i'll give a 7 for the fall but a 5.3 for the landings_

**LEES POV**

_HOW YOUTHFUL!!_

**GAI"S POV**

_I AGREE WITH WHAT LEES THINKING!!(00)_

**SAKURAS/INO'S POV**

_Hmm she looks familer...is she realted to hinata?_

**END!!**

**HI! to all my lovely reviewers! Lv you guys keep reviewing, they make me ahppy, and sniff there all i ah-ha-ha-have!! JUST KIDDING!**

**R&R for a uhhhhhh...Rockband microphone! whooooo!**

**HOLY SHIT ITS GODZIRWWAlivey a.k.a ILIKELICKINGWINDOWS!! BYE!!**


	5. Rum cake KILLZ!

**HI everyone! unfortunatly all good stories(or cracky ones) must come to an end, i know its short so im making it up to you guys by writing another instalment, but this story isnt over now, im just saying its gonna end soon, i've run out of Ideas! Oh and i might delete Nameless...I need more ideas, but! never fear! I'll do some whip-itz and it'll all be better!**

**Disclaimer-Me es no owns Naruto! If i did...well lets just say it would really suck!**

**Shout-outs:**

**Number one Itachi fan-girl-YOUR THE BEST! If it wasnt for your review i wouldve just quit, thinking no one was reading my story!**

**XSasoriX-THX for your review! It means so much to me! Update your story, so's you can finish it and put me in the next one! JKJKJK!!**

**FreeBalloonsAtTheCandyStore-THX SO MUCH FOR ADDING MY STORY TO YOUR ALERTS AND REVIEWING!! huaah for you, i give thy ...a leaf!!(no realtion to the show)**

**chocolvr69-you so totaly rock, like more than 'shrooms! Thx for the review and adding my story to your alert list! I'll be sure to to check your proflie and review a story you have, OH and i'll do that for eveyone else!!**

**thx guys! Updaste your stories, and i'll update mine!**

**Crackerella Chapter uhhh i forgot, uhhh 5 or 4-Rum cake KILLZ!!**

HInata was a little whoozy form her fall, so with Itachi's hlp she made it over to the rfood table thing.

"eww rum cake"  
**(sweatdrop)  
**Hinata sniffed the punch.

"Hey 'tachi i think some one spiked the punch...or its shit soup flavoured..."**(sweatdrop)  
**"Weasel-chan"  
"twich"  
"weasel...chan?"**(poor Itachi)  
**"Yeah! i think its very befitting of you!"

Hinata was grinning like a cheshire cat while grabbing a slice of Rum cake.

"HEY MOVE IT"  
Sakura knocked poor Hinata out of the way, sending her cake soaring across the room.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!11!!1!!111!!111!!...oh wait its rum cake...its okay"

The soaring cake flew onto Inos hair**(amy whinehouse stlye)** Causeing her to throw her glass of punch up onto Toni's hair making him shriek and run into Jiriya bumping him into a lip-lock with sluggy...ewww poor Jiraya!.

"ITACHI-KUN!!11!1!!1!!"

Again Itachi's eye twitched at a fast rate for his normal self**(Couldnt think of anything).** Sakura Oblivous to the event that just happened,  
Itachi's eye problem, and the alien invasion that no one cared about taking place**(whew that was a lot)** was now in mid-glomp...until Itachi stopped her**(go you!!11!!).**

"i'm with her!" He proclaimed pointing to Hinata who was now choking on her iced tea(le gaspereth!!11)  
"COUGHCOUGH wha-?? Cough"

Itachi**(the bunny killer)** was totaly unfazed by the really really really really loud choking of Poor Hinata, he just grabbed her hand and lead her away from a fumming Sakura...yeah.

**TRADTRADTRADTRADTRADTRADTRADTRADTARD**

_bored bored bored bored bored bored bored broed bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored (you get the point). GAH! when is something interesting gonna happen, i mean the alien invasion is pretty good, but really? AHHHH i know! i'll go ask that girl who was falling down the stairs to dance, worst case senario she rejects me right?  
...well she could always slap me...uhhhh i'll take my chances._

"Ano, excuse me"  
He tapped her on the shoulder succesfully getting her attention.  
"hai"  
She turned around only to notice the guy from earlier. _What was his name...uhhhhhh i think it was trad. OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOFMG is he asking me to dance?! nooo he probably wants an iced tea...is this a joke?!...Did i leave the stove on?!When was Jun suppposed to get me?! Finaly it was too much for Hinata, so she fainted like a pro(way to save face Hinata!)._

_"uhhh person"_  
"HINATA!-I got her!"**(WEASEL)**  
"Ano ok i guess i'll go outside"  
Trad left leaving Itachi to drag hinata by the feet to a chair.

**--meanwhile--**

"HOLY HAMBURGERS! my **Hinata-just-fainted-in-front-of-a-hot-dude-sense** is tingling"  
With that she ran off to another door then stopped.

"wrong way!"

And started off in the other direction knocking into Trad(i should really name him)  
"OW" they complained in unison "NO TIME GOTTA GO...HINAAAAAATAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

**trads POV--**

**werid.** I was still in a daze from that psycho person

" I STILL WANNA RAPE YOU!!"

Chichi came at him at the speed of light or faster all you saw was a blur shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit.

**(-lees POV-)**

_HOLY HOTDOGS MY **...-is-gonna-get-raped-by-a-fangirl-sense** is tingling!!_

**EnD!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!**

**So how did you like my totaly awesome short chapter! Tell me in a review!!**

**2 more chapters then imma makes a sequel!**

**Type in in your URL box they're so funny!**

**BYE!**

**RUM CAKE KILLS-LIVEY...a.k.a. ILIKELICKINGWINDOWS!  
M'kay bye**

**bye...**

**right! R&R for a neat...teddy scares plushie!! your feeling very genorous with that pointer...clcikit you knw you want to! OK maybe you dont but i want you to!!**

**P.S. Insanity RULES!!111!111!1!!11!!1!!1**


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